Torpor
by Dr. Rever
Summary: [Set 5 minutes after Star Fox Command] Corneria has a new enemy, this time from within. Fox's latest job forces him to make a decision that can take his life in a whole new direction or destroy him. But is there more to Leon than meets the eye?
1. Chapter 1

**Torpor**  
by Dr Rever

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Fox! It is copyrighted to Square Enix, who also made Final Fantasy and 8-Bit Theater, and other great RPGs. Support them by buying their games! Krystal is copyright to Namco, I also don't own her. However, the fan characters you may see in this fanfic belong to me and some of my friends, and I own them. Please do not use them without my permission.

Special Thanks To: John Williams, Beethoven, and Tiny Tim - their music inspired me during those many hours it took to write this!

-----

Chapter One - _Getting Ahead_

The Star Fox team dashed down the hallway in urgent haste. This was a real emergency. Falco, Slippy, and Krystal kept up the pace, while Peppy was trailing behind on his Rascal. They pushed nurses and doctors to the side, and they shoved patients in wheelchairs and on stretchers out of the way. Apologies can come later, after they find Fox McCloud's room. All that they knew was that something happened while he was gone on vacation. They received a message that Fox in the hospital dying, or almost dead, or something which wasn't quite clear. It took them a half hour to fly to New Centre City in their arwings, while Peppy arrived in the Great Fox. If the worst was to come, they hoped that at least they would not be too late to wish their courageous leader a final good-bye.   
"Relax, all of you. No more panicking," the lion surgeon said outside the room, with a firm and calm voice. "He's gonna live."   
A tear trickled down Krystal's face, "Oh thank you, doctor. How can I ever repay--"  
"Though, we did have to amputate. His injuries were incredibly severe. I'm sorry, but he'll never be able to walk again," the surgeon shook his head in shame, and allowed the team into the room to see Fox. They all let out a collective gasp as they saw what was left of his figure lying on the bed.  
"... KRYSTAL? ... FALCO?" Fox moaned, via his voice synthesizer chip.  
All that was left of the famous Fox McCloud was a disembodied head in a jar of liquid, remaining alive thanks to tubes connected to life support machines. Without lungs, he was incapable of speaking, but several wires attached to an implant in the back of his skull allowed him to communicate with a computer voice speaker.  
The surgeon cleared his throat, "Ahem... I guess that was an understatement. We did the best we could, but only his head survived intact. He's lucky he didn't suffer any brain damage from that terrorist attack." He decided to be discrete and not mention to Krystal that Fox's reproductive organs were also somehow intact, and sitting in their own jar behind the curtain.

---

"Well, I guess that's better than nothing," Slippy said as he flicked the switch on in the engineering lab of the Great Fox. Fox's jar-case was given a few crude robotic legs attached to the base. "You'll get used to them in no time, Fox!" he exclaimed in his usual optimistic cheer. "ARE - YOU - LAUGHING - AT - ME? DIE - FILTHY - SHIT - FUCKERS." Fox snarled within his jar. He wasn't able to express his frustration with his voice, so he just snapped his jaw open and closed while the voice chip did all the swearing. "Well, folks," Peppy started his speech to the others while ignoring the angry jar tilting around on tiny legs, "our leader, Fox, is in no condition to fly an arwing, much less properly lead the team. So in cases like this, we must appoint a new leader for the good of us all. And as we all agreed when we first formed the new Star Fox, that succession would go strictly by seniority. Since I've already retired, that only leaves..."  
Krystal looked to Falco, who was leaning against the wall with a rifle. "Think you can handle all that responsibility, tough guy?"  
Falco shrugged. "Normally I'd decline, but with my years of experience, I'm afraid that our survival depends--"  
"Woah, hold it there," Peppy interrupted. "Falco, you left the team for 4 years. That time's counted off your total, it's only fair. Slippy's now your superior by 2 years. That means Mr Toad here is the new Star Fox commander, like it or leave it."   
The rest of the team fainted.  
Fox's voice box started beeping again. "I - TOLD - YOU - DUMBASSES - YOU - CAN'T - DO - SHIT - WITHOUT - ME! - GET - ME - A - NEW - BODY - NOW! - MY - NOSE - ITCHES - AND - I - CAN'T - PICK - IT! - ARRGH!"

---

"Let me explain this again," Peppy started. "The Lylat System is under attack again. Andross's niece-in-law twice removed, named Dr. Andrea, has rounded up an army of nefarious pirates and mercenaries from the remains of Andrew's military. She wants to conquer the world and also destroy the McCloud family line forever... you know, the usual business." "WHAT?" Fox chirped.  
"She was the one who ordered the assassination attempt that left you like this. She's probably surprised that it half-succeeded."   
"WHAT?" Fox chirped.  
"So it's up to us, the Star Fox team, to defend Corneria once again! That means we get paid, you got that?"  
"WHAT?" Fox chirped.  
"Also, we need to find a replacement pilot to take your spot."   
"DON'T - NEED - REPLACEMENT! - THEY - CAN - HANDLE - IT - FINE!"   
"Actually, it's in the contract we have with General Pepper and the PR advertising deal. We gotta use all four arwings, or we don't get a cent. Everybody in the Lylat System has heard about your condition, and it's very embarrassing to our image."  
"WHAT?" Fox chirped.  
"Where do you think our money cames from during the peacetime? We're corporate mascots now, and we have to keep those toys selling, even during the new war."  
"FUCK!" Fox chirped.  
"Anyway, Slippy and the others went out recruiting today. They'll find somebody good"  
"FUCK!" Fox tripped on his mechanical legs and the jar tipped over on its side. It rolled around on the floor tiles before Peppy set him upright again.

---

In a fancy restaurant in the city, at just that moment, the Star Wolf team was making sinister plans of their own. "We'll finally be able to give Star Fox a taste of bitter defeat, once and for all!" Wolf O'Donnell exclaimed with glee as he twirled his fork around with his fingers.  
Panther Caroso had a sneaking suspicion that the waiter wasn't paying close attention when they ordered. "Your plan is stupid. We should be fighting them head-on, not trying to sneak around behind their backs. Joining with Dr. Andrea will finally give us our chance, and we should take it."  
Wolf dropped his fork, and it clattered onto the filthy carpet. "No, shut up and listen. This Andross relative is stupid, just like all the others. She'll fucking lose. Thinking isn't the Star Fox team's strong suit either, but they're strong enough to win anyway. But where does that leave us? We're evil, we're clever... hell, we deserve better."  
"But still... it feels wrong."  
Leon giggled and hugged Panther's arm, "Don't worry, Panther-kun! How about I take you back to my place and you torture _me_ for a while?" He winked.  
"Good god, man, let go of me!" Panther leaned away from the chameleon. "Look, it's your choice to wear the fancy dress and ribbons, I have no problem. But no cuddling up next to me!"   
"But you always let me hug you at home!" Leon purred while rubbing his neck against Panther's chest.  
Panther groaned. He was polite and didn't mind Leon getting in his personal space most of the time, but this was just taking advantage of him. "Not in public! If anyone sees me, I'm -- oh shit!" He ducked down.  
Wolf looked around. "What?"  
"It's my parents! What are they doing here?! If they see me with this fag, they'll think... Wolf, swap seats with me!"  
"Hell no."  
Leon scanned the restaurant. "They're taking a table... and they're facing the other way, they won't see you, darling. Too many people in the way."  
Panther reluctantly sat up again and hissed, "Don't 'darling' me! Let's just eat quickly and leave before they notice."   
Wolf snickered, "But you two look like such a cute couple."  
"We're not!"  
Leon feigned heartbroken shock, "We're not?"  
"Shut up!"  
"Don't talk to your wife that way, you child molestor," Wolf joked.  
Leon pretended to wipe away a tear. "You're sleeping alone tonight."   
"I _always_ sleep alone," Panther started, then decided to change the subject or the teasing will never end. "Look, I'm just saying, why don't we just take a hostage, and force Star Fox into a duel against us? Fox himself is incapacitated, we actually stand an even chance."  
Wolf rolled his eye. "You don't read much, do you? That never works. Trust me, my plan is so much better. We beat Fox at his own game, we get our own action figures in the process, and we drive Star Fox into bankruptcy. Without ever fighting each other."   
Panther thought about this. "Okay," he sighed, "But we need four men to a team. You didn't think of that, did you?"  
"Relax, we'll find someone. Plenty of people out there who can pilot."  
"Not very well."  
"So we filter through them. A decent pilot will show up sooner or later." Wolf shrugged. "Same as when we found you after those halfwits, Andrew and Pigma, left us for good."  
Panther finally gave in. "Fine. But I'm making sure the new guy is damn good, or I'm personally kicking his ass out. Deal?"   
Leon interrupted the conversation, "The food's here!"  
The waiter, a short fox whose appearance gave the impression that he moonlights as a stoned hippie, placed the trays down in front of the guests.  
Panther exploded. The muscular feline jumped up and screamed at the waiter while Leon futilely gripped his shoulders, trying to calm him down. "You fucking moron! I told you **five times** I didn't want the mushroom sauce! And you said you had it down! Goddamnit why don't you just piss all over my steak, don't you know I'm allergic to--"   
"Son, is that you?" a deep, raspy voice came from the crowd that formed.   
"You never told us you got married!" came a shrill female voice.  
"Introduce us to the girl, son."  
Panther was petrified by shock, while still holding the waiter up by the collar. Leon smiled cutely and curtsied before Panther Sr and Mrs Caroso.

-----


	2. Chapter 2

**Torpor**  
by Dr Rever

Disclaimer: I still don't own Star Fox, though I am taking legal action to try to claim them as my own. I don't think I'm winning so far, but I am optimistic. The other characters are still copyright to me.

-----

Chapter 2 - _New Blood_

Slippy was surprised at the massive turnout for the Star Fox team auditions. The line was thousands long and flooding the streets, and the police had to be called to keep order. Quite a few applicants were there for the sole reason that Krystal was wearing a provocative, revealing outfit that day. With Fox out of the way, this might be their lucky chance! This is not to say that ALL of them came simply because of female sex appeal, of course. Obviously, some applicants were more attracted to Falco Lombardi, who was still single. Falco flashed some poses he picked up from his days as a porn star to please the crowd, standing on the stage opposite of Krystal. In between, the hired dancers were doing the Cam-Cam.  
"Attention, citizens!" Slippy spoke to the crowd, with the aid of a megaphone. "Everyone will be examined one at a time, according to the order of numbers on your application ticket. If you are not chosen today, do not, uh, be worried! We will keep your application on file, and... we might call you if we have any new openings. Which I hope does not happen... but, uh... okay, applicant number 1, please enter the booth."  
Slippy slipped under the small tent's curtain and took his seat behind a table, as the police squad allowed the first lucky contestant through. The weasel was a tall, young man who slouched a lot while confidently wearing a variety of goth clothing. He did his best to keep up his angsted facial expression, despite how excited he was at the prospect of joining the Star Fox team.  
Slippy held up a clipboard and began jotting down notes. "First things first. Your name? Tell me who you are and why you want to join."  
"Errr... I'm Marcus Coveney, 17 years old."  
"Yes, go on. What can you do for us?"  
"Well, I always wanted to be famous," Marcus said as he reached a hand into his jeans pockets to scratch an itch.  
"How long have you had pilot training?"  
"Since I was 12 years old," Marcus lied.  
Slippy beamed ecstatically, "You're hired!" He went back outside and spoke into the megaphone again, "Hello everybody! Applications are temporarily closed. Bye, go home. Don't call us; we'll call you."  
The crowd murmured in confusion. A female red wolf in a leotard, standing second in line, protested directly to Slippy. "You haven't even interviewed the rest of us! Don't we get a fair chance?!"  
Slippy shrugged. "No. You don't. Seeya next time." With that, he pulled Marcus by the sleeve to the private Star Fox limo, so he could be properly introduced to Krystal and Falco on their way back to the Great Fox. The police opened fire on the crowd with rubber bullets, not because of any riot or anything, but just out of spite and to relieve the boredom. It took a few seconds for them to realize that they didn't have rubber bullets in the first place, and were firing lead into the skulls of the Star Fox applicants, but they were already into the swing of things and just couldn't stop. They ran out of ammo shortly before eliminating half the crowd, so they generously allowed the survivors to make their retreat.

---

Wolf returned to the secret Star Wolf headquarters, a cheap apartment in the trashy part of Corneria City, feeling exhausted and dejected after a long day. The living room was a mess, and he really wished Panther and Leon would clean up a little during the many hours he was out instead of continuing to play video games non-stop. He navigated through the piles of junk and dirty laundry to reach the kitchen and get a drink.   
The others still hadn't noticed him coming in yet. "There, there! Roll over the elephant!"  
"I can't, it's too big!"  
"Then go back up the hill and--"  
"A-hem," Wolf knocked his fist against the table.  
"Ah! Wolfie-kun, you're back!" Leon turned around and skipped over to greet his friend. He was wearing a short, blue mini-skirt today. Something left behind by his old girlfriend, a teenage tigress, but he still found it fashionable.  
"I was recruiting, in case you had forgotten," Wolf grumbled.  
"Oh, that's right. How'd it go? Did you find someone?" Leon kneeled down and offered to massage Wolf's feet before getting kicked in the face.  
"Fuck it all. Not a single person stopped by the booth. No one!"   
Panther called out, not looking away from his game, "You did hire the saucy pole dancers like I told you to, right?"  
Wolf rolled his eyes and responded in a nasal, sarcastic tone, "Yes, I hired the stupid whores. Brilliant waste of money, rose-boy. I'm so listening to your bright ideas next time."  
Leon rubbed the bruise on his cheek. "Star Fox also had their auditions today, and they got all the attention. It was just bad timing," he said.  
"Did you hear? They had the cops open fire on innocent people! It was a real massacre," Panther said.  
Wolf sneered. "And yet, the public still adores and worships them. Buncha ignorant, slobbering cocksuckers."  
"Well, they did win that battle. Andrea's invasion began today, and Star Fox is already getting a head start on the action. We can't start building up a reputation for saving the day, if we don't have a fourth member!"  
Wolf leaned back in his chair. "We're not gonna lose. We'll find somebody!"  
Leon suddenly got an idea. "Hey, what about your twin sister? Star O'Donnell! Didn't you say she's good at _everything_?"   
Wolf narrowed his eye. "Do not speak that name in front of me."  
"She once saved our lives! And she's a better pilot than even you! Star's your own sister, we can trust her!" Leon said.   
Wolf fumed. "She is no longer any sister of mine! I will not be humiliated again! Mom always liked her better!"

---

Fox could do little inside his brain jar but watch the battle unfold from the bridge of the Great Fox. Peppy and ROB occupied themselves by shouting out unnecessary advice to the team every five seconds. Peppy was starting to senile and losing his short-term memory, and he would repeat the same piece of advice several times in a row. This didn't bother the pilots, since Slippy had programmed their communicators to filter out Peppy's rambling. Fox, however, still had to suffer through it, in person.  
The enemy mothership was approaching Corneria City, so it was up to the Star Fox pilots to intercept it before it destroyed anything. With the help of a few Cornerian Military units, in horribly underpowered jets, they fought the Imperial mothership and its fleet of aircraft in the airspace above a mountain range.  
Marcus was surprised at how quickly he picked up on piloting the arwing. He hadn't even driven a car before, yet he seemed to have a natural talent for dogfighting. He had already scored more kills than Slippy, Krystal, and Falco combined, and earning much respect from his wingmen. _I'll get in Krystal's pants in no time_, he thought in amazement at his own hidden skill.  
Slippy took another hit, but there was no one he could yell to for help this time. As the leader, he was swamped with doing multiple tasks at once. Analyzing the enemy's shield power while trying to out-run squadrons of ships was one thing, but now he had to coordinate his teammates' attack as well. And it wouldn't look good to beg for help as the leader. Time was running out; the mothership had already reached the city, and it was charging up its super cannons. Suddenly, Slippy saw just what the team needed to win this.   
"The glowing, flashing panel on the underside! It's the weak spot! Guys, aim for that thing!"  
The Imperial admiral controlling the mothership decided to taunt them over the communication lines. "Ha ha ha. You're too late, Star Fuck-ups!" The beam cannon on the underside released a powerful blast of energy, instantly vaporizing several city blocks. Within seconds, the beam shut itself off, and all that was left were ashes where there once were buildings.  
Marcus couldn't believe what he was seeing. He snapped. "NOOOOOO!! MY PARENTS LIVED THERE! YOU KILLED THEM! I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!!" His arwing veered away from the battle and charged directly at the mothership. His twin lasers firing ahead of him at rapid pace, he flew at top speed towards the weak spot panel on the underside. Before any of his teammates realized what was happening and could talk him out of it, he was already pressing the button to launch a volley of nova bombs. "DIIIIE!! EEEYYAAAAAAGGHHH!!"   
The nova bombs were completely off-target, and exploded harmlessly on the surface, completely missing the weak point. His ship collided into the triple-reinforced, impervious space armour on the hull, only a meter away from the glowing panel, and the arwing instantly crumbled into a fireball that killed Marcus. His suicidal attack didn't do any damage at all. The mothership continued with its attack as if it hadn't even noticed anything. The fully charged beam cannon fired again, wiping out a few skyscrapers.  
Krystal groaned, "What the fuck was that? Slippy, we're going to need a replacement built for that arwing."

-----


	3. Chapter 3

**Torpor**  
by Dr Rever

Disclaimer: I lost the case, so all of the Star Fox characters belong to Capcom again. And to pay off my lawyer, I had to give away all rights to _my own_ characters, so they don't belong to me any longer either. Just to get back at them, I'm going to use them here anyway! Feel free to also use them yourself without my permission, since they're not mine anymore.

-----

Chapter 3 - _Chains of Bliss_

"I think we can all agree on one thing. Marcus was a total dumbshit," Slippy said at the team meeting, on board the Great Fox.  
Falco rolled his eyes. "Ya think? We're down one arwing now," he said.  
"It'll take Rob a few days to get that spare ship up-to-date," Peppy said.  
Slippy frowned. "Don't worry, we still have the landmaster. We can handle the attacks 'til then. Our main problem right now is getting a new fourth member. It's a good thing we saved all those application forms."  
"GET - THIS - SPIDER - OFF - OF - ME," Fox's head waddled around, bonking into the walls.  
Krystal was still skeptical. She raised an eyebrow as she spoke, "You _are_ going to be more selective this time, I hope."   
Slippy laughed. "Don't worry! I've learned my lesson. This time, I'm doing it right. Ready, Falco?" He slipped a ragged blindfold over his eyes.  
Falco held out the bucket that was filled with the application forms of hero wannabes, while Slippy reached in and grabbed a card at random. "And our lucky winner is..."

---

Parry Darman, descended from the Samoyed dog breed, was an experienced individual of 22 years old. He was also the lucky winner by random drawing to join the Star Fox team! And with no time to spare, because General Pepper had just alerted them of another emergency mission against the evil Dr Andrea.  
"Parry, if you can prove yourself in this mission, you'll have a bright future. Just make sure to work with the others and... speaking of which... Krystal, where's Falco?"  
Krystal shrugged. Her tight body suit reacted appropriately by jiggling her breasts up and down in response to the force. The suit wasn't even armoured at all; it seemed like the entire point of the suit was to entertain the others with dancing tits. Krystal felt uncomfortable about this involuntary action, but she begrudgingly tolerated it. Slippy was the boss, after all. She just wished she didn't have to look like a character from _Evangelion_ or whatever. "I'm not sure. He's been missing since we had dinner. His cell phone's off, too."  
Slippy groaned and rubbed his head stressfully. "Well we don't need to fly in formations for this mission, so I think we can get away with it without Falco. Here's the job: we are landing inside the enemy station, and clearing out the defenses. The Cornerian marines follow, cleaning up after us. Our objective is to get to the central command center, and take the commander hostage. And we should try to take as many soldiers prisoner as we can."  
Parry grinned confidently. "I'm not so good at flying arwings yet, but I sure can handle a gun. This'll be no problem at all. You won't regret hiring me."  
Fox McCloud, the former leader, started barking out again. "DON'T - WORRY - I - ALREADY - REGRET - IT!" But his opinions didn't matter much in the new Star Fox team. He was treated as a pet for a few days, and now mostly ignored and left to wander by himself in the library, trying to turn book pages with his clumsy robotic appendages.

---

Wolf unlocked the door and invited his guest in. A long day had finally paid off, possibly in more ways than one. Star Wolf had four members once again, and nothing could stop them now.  
Although, it was curious as to why the apartment was so empty. Wolf took a quick scan around, and he could immediately notice that Panther and Leon were missing. They weren't playing their games, and they weren't cooking cheap noodles in the kitchen. Wolf thought it was curious, since those two slobs' habits were generally predictable. He then heard some sounds and voices from the hallway. He turned to his companion and said, "Have a seat, please feel comfortable. I'll just go get them, and we can make introductions. Hold on a sec."  
Wolf turned around the corner and walked into the hallway. Stepping just past the bathroom, he reached Leon's room, where the noise seemed to be coming from. Wolf turned the knob and swung the door in. "Hey, pinheads, it's time to-- WHAT IN THE HELL!?"   
Leon was lying naked in front of Wolf in his bed, kissing Falco's chest all over. He turned his head around at the sound of the voice and stared back at Wolf, who could only blink in wide-eyed shock. Falco was half under the covers, and simply cleared his throat. He didn't look ashamed in the slightest.  
Wolf finally regained his senses, and wordlessly closed the door to remove them from his vision. The noise and voices resumed from behind the simple wooden door. Wolf walked back to the living room to speak with the new recruit. "Ah, heh heh... I think Leon's out in the town tonight. I'll just go check on Panther."  
Wolf went into the opposite end of the hall, trying to drown out those sounds with his thoughts. Panther's door was slightly ajar, and the lights were on. Wolf pushed it in, and saw Panther slumped over his desk, unconscious. "Sleeping already?" Wolf asked out loud. He inspected the spilled bottle of medication next to Panther's arm on the table. How curious, was he sick? And what's with this letter signed by Krystal? She was declining to go out with him, from the looks of it...  
"What the hell is wrong with everybody today?!" Wolf screamed to himself as he ran to the phone to call the poison control center emergency line. His guest just remained sitting on the couch, looking about nervously.

---

Falco snorted after Wolf closed the door, leaving him to privacy once again. Leon shrugged, "That was a pretty close call."  
Falco nodded. "Too close. A minute earlier and he would've seen her."  
There was some muffled murmuring from under the sheets, between Falco's legs. Wolf hadn't noticed there was a third person in the room. "Don't worry, girl, you're doing just fine," Falco said. "Keep going."  
Star O'Donnell hummed affirmatively, and continued working on the feast in her mouth.  
Leon crawled up to the pillows and curled his body around Falco's head. "Hey, it's your turn. Be careful with your beak, alright?"   
"Don't worry... I will," Falco smiled. He opened his beak wide as Leon guided his receiving end into position. Falco clamped down, keeping it gentle, but he put a little playful pressure on Leon for fun while his tongue curled up and down the shaft.  
Leon giggled as an amusing thought suddenly came to mind. "If only my ex-girlfriend were here too. She fucked all of us individually anyway, didn't she?"

---

"Good work, team. I can't believe that went off flawlessly." Slippy gave Parry a pat on the back, and Krystal a pat on the chest. They jiggled again, and Krystal rolled her eyes in contempt.  
The enemy Commander was tied up on the floor, surrounded by other restrained soldiers. Casualties had been minimal, and this station contained much valuable information that could help win the war against Dr Andrea. Slippy was expecting a proper reward from this mighty success.  
Parry, on the other hand, was not used to seeing the horrors of war first-hand. The death and bloody limbs and screams of agony were maddening, and they were starting to get to him. Relatively, it was not a very bloody battle, but it was far beyond anything Parry had experienced before. He was unprepared to deal with this. "I'm... I feel... nervous, guys..."  
"Don't worry, the battle's all over! It's time to go home!" Slippy chuckled and nudged him in the ribs with an elbow.  
This drove Parry over the edge.  
The Commander was the first to die. Parry fired his rocket launcher into the group of prisoners, incinerating their bodies with a deafening explosion. Parry screamed as he wielded his machine guns, firing laser blasts everywhere in the command center. Slippy and Krystal ducked for cover, as the marines got mowed down by the unexpected attack. "Die! Die die die die die! I'll fucking shoot all of you to hell!" Parry threw some grenades, wrecking the computer systems and sending hazardous shrapnel through the air.   
"He's gone bonkers, Slip!" Krystal tried to peer out from behind the console that she was using to take cover, but the laser blasts in her direction made it too risky.  
"Parry! Get a grip!" Slippy managed to get a stun shot off, and it hit Parry's leg. He was paralyzed there, but this did not interrupt his incessant slaughter. More of the Cornerian marines were crushed by falling debris as his arms spun around in circles, firing everywhere.  
Parry's eyes were blood-shot and he was frothing at the mouth. All that made sense to him now was to cause as much destruction as he could. All social restraints were gone, and he was armed to the teeth from Star Fox's own arsenal.  
"It's no good! Stop him at all costs!" Krystal said as she fired lethal rounds at Parry. One of his random shots grazed her shoulder, but she managed to blast one of the dog's arms off. He fell flat on the ground, still clutching his other gun. He was still holding down the trigger of this one. And those laser blasters could fire a lot before needing reloading.  
Neither of them could get near him now. Slippy had no choice but to lob a grenade. An explosion rocked the station, and the lunatic was finally at peace. Parry's carnage was satisfied at last, with that final moment of self-destruction.  
Krystal dropped her gun and stared straight at Slippy with a look of horror. Both of them looked around, realizing that they were the only two people left alive in the station since that shooting spree began. Krystal didn't even notice the suit twitching at her breasts as she raised her arms in mad desperation and exclaimed, "What... the... fuck?!?"

-----


	4. Chapter 4

**Torpor**  
by Dr Rever

Disclaimer: The hunted become the hunters! Star Fox belongs to me, so this isn't really a "fan" fic! Everything you read from this chapter onwards is new canon material from the official source! I'm also sueing all of you for ruining the Star Fox storyline with your perverted slash fanfiction. To clarify: Falco loves Leon, not Katt, so please get it right next time when you write your stories.

Special thanks for this chapter goes to my telephone directory, where I get most of my fan character names from.

-----

Chapter 4 - _Something Redemption Memories Blahblah_

"Slippy, I'm starting to think this is a bad idea," Peppy explained patiently, as they met privately on the bridge of the Great Fox.   
"Peppy, you told me yourself that we had to have four members!"  
"But not like this! This is insanity! The five others since Parry were even worse, and they died before we even went into battle!"  
Slippy shrugged. "Well what do you want me to do?"   
"I may be old, but I can still pilot. Just let _me_ do it and..."   
"Ohhhh no you don't. You retired already, we're not letting you steal the spotlight from us, in our prime. I know your true intentions, you scheming old geezer."  
Fox hopped up and down, trying to get their attention. "LET - ME - PILOT - IT! - JUST - GIVE - ME - A - PROPER - BODY!"  
Both of them ignored Fox.  
Slippy persisted. "We've been training this new one. She's got potential, and best of all, she's actually mentally stable. She's completely different from those others. She'll make my team proud."   
"SINCE - WHEN - IS - THIS - YOUR - TEAM?"  
"And I think she likes me too..."

---

Andrea sat on her throne. She was furious, just like Andross often was. She was getting impatient, so she pushed the button for the SECRET WEAPON.  
A frightened general protested this action. "But, sir! The war has just begun! Shouldn't we save it as a trump card for later on?"   
Andrea considered this for a minute. "No," she said, curtly.

---

Slippy had been busy trying to get their talented new recruit out of police custody. As they walked back to his arwing in the parking lot, he decided to discipline her. She was getting too cocky lately.  
"Leiya, you can't just go around pickpocketing!"  
The bright red female fox, 6'4" tall, just flashed a huge grin. "But I'm a girl and you never actually saw me steal them!"   
"But the police did. Look, we have to be protectors of justice and peace. Do you understand what I'm getting at?"  
"Look, I'm a girl, tee hee. One of my advantages is how sexy I am."  
Slippy facepalmed. "Yes, I'll take your word for it on that. But why would you want to go stealing? You have a job with us, we're paying you more than enough."  
Leiya smiled real wide while she used her powers of telepathy to read Slippy's mind. "Oooh. Did you know that I am a sexy girl?"   
"Stop that! Leiya, will you pay attention to me? Get out of my head!"   
Leiya giggled and groped her own breasts for no reason.  
"Leiya! What are you doing?"  
Leiya suddenly went furious, and drew her daggers from her belt. "GRRAAWR!" she snarled, as she leapt on some pedestrian on the sidewalk who looked at her funny. She sliced his body apart with no mercy as the victim screamed. "I have telepathy! I could read your thoughts! You traitor!" She followed this up with a psychic shockwave into the victim's brains.  
Luckily for Slippy, he was saved by his nifty emergency watch, with an alarm light on top. The light was twirling and flashing while a sound chip played the Hamster Dance music on endless repeat. Slippy knew this was BIG. Something **really BIG**. Only the really BIG emergencies sounded his watch alarm. He grabbed Leiya by her long hair and dragged her back to Star Fox HQ as the police arrived on the scene and chased after them.

---

Falco stared in wide-eyed shock from his arwing's cockpit. "Jeez... laweez... paleeze. What... IS... **that**?!"  
"It's a telepathic projection. Very similar to one of Andross's old inventions," Krystal said.  
"So it's not real?"  
"Yes, it's real, it's just that it's not natural. You know, it was created by telepathy."  
"That's kind of a magic thing."  
"Telepathy isn't magic, Falco! It's science!"  
"Science space fantasy magic."  
"But it's very real, and it can kill us all, just like it's destroying that city."  
"Your mother was very real. And telepathic. Last night."   
What they saw before them was a 200 foot tall giant Andrea, stomping all over a Cornerian city. It was huge. And her arms were replaced with giant cannons, which were shooting all over the place. And her legs were replaced with huge ears of corn. Her ears had ninja swords. And she breathed fire. I know this sounds hard to believe, but anything is possible with _telepathy_!  
Leiya and Slippy's arwings deployed from the Great Fox docking bay, and they caught up with Falco and Krystal. "That must be their ultimate weapon!"  
"FOOLISH STAR FOX! THE LYLAT SYSTEM IS MINE FOR THE TAKING!" Andrea's voice boomed for miles around, deafening anyone close enough who wasn't already getting blown up in fires or stomped by giant corn-legs.  
Leiya shouted out encouragement, "Let's go, team! Anyone want to go out with me?"  
And so, the Star Fox team spent 7 long, continuous hours shooting lasers at the giant space Andrea. This did absolutely no good, and they were running out of time. Andrea had already completely leveled three of Corneria's continents.  
Slippy screamed out, "Help get these guys off of me, Fox!" He had momentarily forgotten his new position and regressed back ten years in his development. He blushed about his error, and hoped no one else caught it on the communication lines. Everyone did, but didn't say anything.  
Andrea shot another laser beam into the mountains, sending boulders and goats flying everywhere.  
Leiya knew it was time for a risky course of action. "Guys, I'm going to destroy that thing. And only I have the skill to do it."   
"_What_? What are you planning to do?" Krystal shouted.  
"If I can fly myself directly into those cannons, reach the power source, and destroy it, that should take care of this telepathic space giant. Only I have the skill to get in there."   
"But it's impossible to get back out!" Slippy said.  
Leiya smiled really wide again, flashing her teeth on the monitors. "Just watch me. I'm an expert pilot, I told you. I just have to U-Turn at the right moment."  
"Don't do it!" Falco protested. But it was too late to change her mind from this heroic act.  
With that, she courageously flew towards the giant. The rest of the team distracted Andrea's attention, and Leiya was able to pilot her ship directly into the barrel of the huge arm-cannon. Her wing brushed against the wall of the tunnel, but fortunately, little damage was suffered. Leiya was now safely inside, on a head-on course towards the core. The slightest error in her piloting direction would cause her ship to collide, but to the awe of her teammates, she had pulled it off perfectly.  
Suddenly, Andrea shot some cannon blasts, and Leiya's arwing was destroyed entirely by the high-energy photon bullet within the barrel before reaching the target. Boom. Death.

---

Wolf put on his brand new fur-lined, leather flight jacket as he gave the thumbs-up. "Okay team, let's rock and roll!"  
Leon mumbled, "That's Fox's line."  
"Shut up. He never trademarked it. It's mine now!"   
The Star Wolf took off in their brand new Wolfen ships, in a perfect diamond formation. The first three looked alike, but the Wolfen in the rear looked odd to the keen eye. It was custom painted, and gave off the impression it had more than a few custom improvements on its internal hardware as well. Who was this mysterious pilot?  
The Star Fox retreated to a safe distance as they watched their rivals come to the rescue. They felt bitter, but they knew they could not win without a full four-member formation. Star Wolf was going to get all the glory today, as they rightfully deserved!  
The team sent off a volley of laser fire, in a perfect synchronized ballet. They hit the giant Andrea simultaneously and burned a hole in her flesh instead of merely deflecting like Star Fox's shots had. That's because Star Wolf's blasters were TELEPATHICALLY REINFORCED, baby. You'd have to be an expert on telepathy to understand how this works. Andrea felt the pain, and started vomiting sulfuric acid across the countryside in huge quantities.  
Wolf was pleased that his plan was working. He smiled as he initiated phase 2. "Winter, move into position!"  
Winter Gryphon, the charming red wolf, and newest member of Star Wolf, saluted. "I've never been more ready!" Her voice was like music to the ear. Even Leon felt attracted to her. She even had an eyepatch over one eye, similar to Wolf. (Although the origins of Wolf's eyepatch shall forever remain a mystery, everybody knew that Winter's eyepatch came from an injury involving a scuffle with corrupt police forces. See chapter two.)  
She pulled back the throttle and gained altitude. Soon she was positioned directly between the sun and the giant Andrea below her. She flew past the line of direct light, causing a lens flare effect. She then pressed her custom Wolfen ship into reverse, so she had barely gone a few feet past when she started flying backwards through the beam. Andrea looked up, but it was too late. Winter was continuing this pattern, the silhouette of her ship flying back and forth between the sun and Andrea, and she was gaining speed. Her ship was becoming a blur. There were so many lens flares hitting the giant, and they were picking up in intensity.  
"NOOOOOO!" Andrea tried to shield her eyes, which did no good. The full effect of all those lens flares concentrated on one point in such a short range of time created a miniature nuclear explosion! The very fabric of time and space and reality was ripped apart and flushed down the toilet as the monstrous telepathic giant mutant Andrea was eliminated from the Lylat System once and for all. Her physical body was now gone forever, but her mind still existed, roaming the void of space. Kind of like Voldemort or Sauron or whatever. She would only be able to watch, and someday return by taking over a properly synchronized telepath's mind, but that won't happen until some prophecy comes true, ten million years from now. The day was saved!  
Star Wolf gave a cheer for Ms Gryphon's amazing piloting work. All of the reporters in the system were recording the event, and animal-people on every planet were watching the epic battle from their homes. They had also seen Star Wolf get their asses kicked. On that day, the tables were turned forever for our two mercenary squadrons.

---

There was a big celebration with lots of food, fireworks, and some weird folk music. The comic relief characters came out with pianos and guitars and played bad covers of annoyingly overhyped popular music. Everybody got married! Everybody, that is, except for those **LOSER** Star Fox members. Wolf kissed Winter and swept her in his arms, taking her to a private room with nice pillows. Leon kissed Panther, but Panther was a bit tied up since he was forcibly thrust into this mass marriage against his will. Leon adjusted his wedding gown, and carried Panther off to his own private room with chains and cold steel torture beds.

**_THE END?_**

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But little did everyone realize that there was another mighty force behind all of this! Dr Andrea was merely a puppet for a greater evil, whose hand was guiding her actions while the rest of the arm and the body was hidden behind a long red curtain. All had gone according to the evil mastermind's plan, and it was now time for it to tear down the curtain and execute the final act of this puppet rock opera... thing.  
Not coincidentally, Krystal came screaming from the hallway of the Great Fox. "It's terrible guys!"  
Peppy took a bite out of his sandwich. "What's terrible?"   
"Fox's dick! Someone's stolen it, and the jar it was in!"  
Who could do such a thing, you ask? CONTINUE READING TO FIND OUT! TO BE CONTINUED!

-----


	5. Chapter 5

**Torpor**  
by Dr Rever

Disclaimer: Please don't mark this to the admins. It's rated M, see? There's nothing wrong with this stuff in a rated M fic! See? SEE? Anyway, it wouldn't be very nice. What did I ever do wrong to you?

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Chapter 5 - _The Final Orgasm_

General Pepper's giant head fired rockets which blew up the Great Fox in a spectacular fireball. All of Star Fox was in the bridge at the moment, unfortunately.  
A crowd was forming in the streets of Corneria City, watching at the sudden development in the skies far above them. "Oh no! The **LOSER** Star Fox team has been destroyed!"  
An animal-person with three eyes pointed up. "No, wait! Someone's still alive! I see his parachute!"  
Fox's head jar was indeed floating down with the aid of an emergency parachute. He had abandoned ship just in time, and avoided the crispy, charred death his incompetent teammates suffered. Then, in a stroke of irony, his parachute caught a cross-breeze and was sent off course. He landed in the gaping maw of a newly formed live volcano, landing directly in the magma as he screamed obscenities. The pressure cracked his glass casing and his dismembered head sunk, consumed in the fiery pool of lava.  
"Don't worry, Star Wolf will save us," an unimportant pro wrestler in the crowd said confidently.  
Just on cue, Star Wolf's four ships came to the rescue, and started shooting stuff at General Pepper's giant floating head. They were busy having hot, passionate sex, when they were interrupted by the emergency Wolf-signal in the skies. None of them were wearing pants in their ship cockpits, but nobody on the ground could see or know that, really.  
"FOOLISH STAR WOLF. ONLY **I** HAVE THE DONGS TO RULE LYLAT!" Pepper tried swallowing them by inhaling the air into his mouth. Failing that, he regurgitated bagels and scrambled eggs mixed with ketchup at them.  
Wolf dodged the breakfast food and fired lasers into Pepper's eyeballs. "Why are you doing this? And how did you become a giant head anyway?"  
Pepper chuckled. "YOU WILL NOW ALL CALL ME... EMPEROR PEPPER! THE LYLAT SYSTEM WILL PROSPER UNDER MY GLORIOUS RULE!"  
Wolf screamed in rage. "Never! You killed my father! I'll never forgive you!"  
"NOT JUST YOUR FATHER! I KILLED YOUR MOTHER TOO!"  
Wolf and Panther fired their nova bombs at the evil dog, but Pepper simply snorted them up his nose as if they were his cheap crack from back at his private office. His general hat flopped open and exploding robot bees came swarming out of his head, seeking the Wolfen ships for a suicidal explosion.  
Just then, a muscular rhino, armed with many, many guns, leapt from the top of the tallest skyscraper, and grabbed onto the fur of Pepper's cheek. He was dangling far above the ground, clinging only to a few hairs, but he screamed in determination and kept his grip. "Death to Emperor Pepper!" He shouted, as he let go of one hand. It reached for the gun on his back, which he swung around and fired point-blank into Pepper's skull. The incredible plasma explosion from the huge gun incinerated Pepper's outer shell defenses, and the giant head went careening out of control. It spun in circles as it plummetted to the ground. The rhino was already dead, his body vaporized instantly by the explosion of his big gun. Emperor Pepper crashed into Panther's favourite coffee shop (recently rebuilt after the Aparoid War) and the head exploded in a fierce blast of light.  
"wOLf o'dONneLl... i WILl FiNIsh yOu oNcE AnD foR ALL!"   
Wolf gasped.   
From the wreckage of Pepper's giant head, the bits of skull and machinery that were melded together in a hideous creation, came the true evil behind it all. It was none other than Fox's penis.

---

It had grown and mutated while in its protective casing. It was not the organ they all had known before. It was more like a fearsome draconian monster from a nightmare. The spines were glowing with energy, and those teeth would make Xenomorphs run in fear. It snaked through the air, showing off its fully grown adult form, 50 meters long.  
Panther gasped. He had already fit the pieces of the puzzle into place. "You were manipulating Pepper... so that means you were also behind Dr Andrea as well!"  
Leon gasped. "Which means Fox's penis was behind his own assassination attempt from the beginning!"  
Winter gasped. "I can't believe it. This was the mysterious being that killed Wolfie's parents all those years ago?"   
Wolf nodded grimly. "I never forget a face. They all thought I was crazy when I said I saw Fox's crotch pull the trigger in that alley of Gotham City, but now I've proven to the world I was right all along."   
Fox's dong cackled demonically. "NOw i sHalL fiNISh THe jOb! DiE, WolF jR!"   
The skies turned dark red and black. The grassy Cornerian fields were turning brown and dry, their life force being drained out of the soil. This was no mere giant telepathic robot, this was truly a creature from the deepest pits of the abyss, with the power to twist the very roots of creation to fit its own liking. The planet of Corneria was now undergoing a transformation; it would soon reflect the very home realm of the penis demon. And it would only be the first planet to suffer. Now that it was unleashed upon this dimension, the rest of the Lylat System would be corrupted as well. Nay, the entire galaxy!   
Wolf and his wingmen tried to keep in formation to protect themselves, but the energy rupturing throughout the skies was too strong. They were scattered like leaves among the four winds, completely powerless against the greater forces at work. Wolf gritted his teeth and clenched his eyes shut. "This is the end... I've failed you, father!"  
There was a blinding white light.  
There was a ghostly silence.  
When it seemed like the silence would be unbearable, a proud voice came forward, breaking the bleak vision of hopelessness.  
"Don't ever give up, my son."  
Wolf opened his eyes, and he was starting to regain his vision. "... Father?"

---

The cool grey metallic frame of the robot could be seen, grappling Fox's penis with all its might. That mighty crusader of the Star Fox universe, rumoured to have been destroyed in a brave act of sacrifice to save Corneria, was in fact still alive! The ultimate combat robot, RAPE-64, had been wished back by the power of the dragon balls, and his strength had increased tenfold, thanks to his special training in the afterlife. He had arrived back in the mortal plane just in time.   
"Yes Wolf... it is I." RAPE-64 swung a fist forward, punching a crater into the surface of the dick's shaft.  
"I... I can't believe it! Father?" Wolf was in tears of joy.  
"After I was murdered, they transplanted my mind and memories to this robot. Although I could never live as your father anymore, I have never forgotten you. And I have always been watching over you."   
"Do it, Father." Wolf smiled.  
"LET'S ROCK AND ROLL!" the Star Wolf team cried out in unison.  
RAPE-64 dodged the demonic penis's fluids by hovering back and forth on its leg-mounted rocket jets. "I've come... for vengeance."   
Fox's penis screamed in fury, but could not land a single hit. It finally decided to swing itself into the robot, to crush it against a mountain. Big mistake. It was no match for the spinning kick's power, and it was knocked back, already stunned in the balls. RAPE-64 opened up his internal chest compartment, revealing his new rape-powered spirit engine. He raised his arms above his robotic head and began charging up his beam, growing stronger as the spirits of rape from deep within Corneria gathered at his fingertips in a giant sphere. "The power of rape should be used for good, and never for evil!"   
He unleashed the energy into a focused beam.  
It only took a moment.  
But just long enough to wipe out the demonic energy from within the creature, fatally wounding it.  
"iF I go DowN i'M taKING YOu witH ME!" it shrieked, as it wrapped itself around RAPE-64's exhausted body.  
"Get out of here, son!" RAPE-64 called out desperately.   
"Father! No!" Wolf shook his head. But he had no choice. RAPE-64 had hijacked control of his ship remotely, and was setting the four Wolfens on an escape path.  
They looked back as they saw Corneria City wiped out by the massive sphere of light.  
"Kaneeeeedaaaaa! Er, I mean Faaaaaatheeeer!" Wolf whimpered.  
"Hah, I don't think so."  
RAPE-64 flew out from the chaos, just in time. His robotic body was in ruins, but he was safe. Corneria's skies were returning to normal.   
Peace had finally returned at last. But RAPE-64's body was beyond repair, he would never be able to fight again. Star Wolf swore to become the new protector of the Lylat System.  
And with the battle finally over, they all gave a hearty laugh as they flew off into the sunset. And then into the sun. Sizzle, fwoosh.

**_THE END_**

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